Flynn & The Cone of Shame

Poor Flynn. We took him to get his anal glands expressed last week (funny how I never knew much about dogs and their anal glands even though I grew up with 2 dogs of my own), and I guess it caused some lasting irritation because he has been doing his best to lick the area to death ever since. I didn't pay much attention to the licking at first, but before Michael left for work Wednesday morning, he woke me up to tell me that Flynn had been licking himself about every 20 minutes for the past few days and that there was now a nice bald spot under his tail right at the base.

I called the vet, expecting they would want us to bring him right in, but the cheery girl on the other end of the line simply asked if we had an "E-collar." At first I thought she was talking about some kind of shock collar, but she explained that it was the cone dogs wear around their necks that keeps them from biting or licking wounds. She said that as long as the bald spot wasn't open, we didn't need to bring Flynn in. It looked red, but wasn't bleeding, so I told her I'd come in for a cone.

After work that night, I went to Flynn's veterinary office and watched as one of the staff members assembled an absolutely huge cone made of clear, flexible plastic. She threaded a gauze strip around the outer edges of the small end of the cone and suggested we loop the gauze under his front legs and tie it up on his back near his neck so he wouldn't be able to get the cone off by pawing at it. I had a mental image of Flynn struggling mightily against the application of this device, and crossed my fingers that we would be successful in getting it on him. I knew that without the cone, Flynn would most certainly lick himself raw--and then we risked the sore getting infected. Not good.

Imagine our surprise, however, when Flynn stood quietly while Michael fitted the cone over his head and secured it under his legs and tied it near the back of his neck. We both thought it looked much too big and wondered how Flynn would be able to eat and drink with his plastic hood in the way. Fortunately, he does a pretty good job. I've ended up just putting his food on a towel for him to eat from, as the cone often knocks his bowl right over. The water dish is heavier and sturdier and so far there have been no problems with it and the cone.

When I first saw Flynn wearing the cone, I immediately thought of the movie "Amelie" (which I LOVE) and of the portrait Amelie has in her apartment of a small dog wearing a white cone around his neck. Then I thought of the movie "Up" in which Dug has to wear the "cone of shame" as it is termed by the pack of dogs. I found a clip on YouTube of Dug saying, "I do not like the cone of shame," with downcast eyes. Flynn doesn't seem quite as bummed out about it as Dug, however, and bumps around our house (and our legs) as if there is nothing there at all.

We take the cone off when we're around and can watch to make sure he doesn't lick, and when it's time for it to go back on, Flynn submits without protest. What a good, good boy he is, and I hope he will only have to wear his cone for a few more days.

A Weekend With Candles, Friends and Mom

Last Friday my mom and I co-hosted a PartyLite event at my house. I am always a bit wary of hosting parties like these for several reasons. One big worry I have is actually finding "enough" people to attend so that I don't feel embarrassed about wasting the consultant's time. Another worry is people feeling obligated to buy something (since I usually feel like that when I go to parties where ordering is the name of the game). Last but not least, I think about the time it takes to prepare for something like that, by which I mean make my house (the downstairs at least) look presentable and figure out what kind of snacks to serve.

All of these things flashed through my mind when my mom asked me if I wanted to co-host a PartyLite party and asked if we could have it at my house since she thinks her house is too little. But it was the first time I could remember my mom excited about being the hostess for any type of "special order" party and I could not refuse. And anyway, I figured if we did it together, there would be two of us making preparations and it wouldn't seem so stressful.

My mom and I both have Fridays off now, so it didn't take long for us to plan a Friday in March in which she would come over early in the day to help prepare for the festivities, then stay the night in our oft-vacant guest room and go home the following day.

Although we live fairly close to each other (it's only about a 45-60 minute drive, depending on traffic), we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like. Michael is allergic to my parents' dog, so our visits there can't last longer than 5 or 6 hours, and they can't bring Sadie to our house right now since she doesn't get along with other dogs and we have Flynn. So needless to say, I was really looking forward to spending some quality time with my mom.

I drove over to Vancouver Friday morning to pick her up since my dad had to work that afternoon and would need their car. We stopped at Winco to pick up a few groceries for the evening and then decided to head for downtown Portland so I could make my 1:30pm acupuncture appointment without going all the way home to Aloha first. We found a cute little bistro in southeast Portland and stopped there for lunch before my appointment. The garden veggie soup was pretty good (if a bit pricey) and Mom and I both got a kick out of the look on the counter girl's face when I asked if they had any wheat-free bread. Too funny.

After acupuncture at the very beautiful NCNM student clinic, we headed home to get ready for the party. I had already done most of the cleaning, but Mom and Michael helped me get everything looking just right. Mom assembled a very tasty taco salad type of dip and we had both sparkling apple cider and wine as beverage offerings--beer probably would have gone better with the dip, but I don't like it and Mom thought the wine would be a suitable alternative.

Sara, the PartyLite consultant arrived about a half hour before the party was set to begin, and set up a very beautiful demo table of candles and candle holders. I was pleased to find that the catalog pictures really didn't do the products justice and there was one outdoor candle lantern in particular that caught my eye. I could just see it on our patio table during the summer, casting a comforting glow and encouraging lots of lazy evenings talking and playing cards with friends and family.

Three of my close friends were able to make it to the party, and with my mom and me that made 5 people at the show--a reasonable turnout, I decided. I had told mom earlier that we just wouldn't worry about who could make it or how much they might want to spend, and would focus instead on just having fun getting together. That took the last two of my previous worries right off the table and I was free to enjoy the evening.

Sara did a great job talking about PartyLite and I could tell that she genuinely believes in the quality of the company and its products. There was much laughter and oohing and ahhing over the candles as the evening progressed, and everyone firmly decided that the leather-scented candle (yes, I am not joking, it was advertised as being a leather-scented candle) was not something any of us wanted.

By the time the last guest had left for the evening (sometime around 11pm and way past my mom's bedtime), we were both tired, but very happy. I had ordered some candles and spent enough to buy the lantern for half price (!) and Sara told me that once the final totals were tallied, we would have quite a bit of credit for free merchandise.

Michael came home shortly after Sara left, and the three of us sat around the table talking and polishing off the rest of the dip before calling it a night. All in all, the party came off much better than I could ever have imagined, and I told my mom that I was glad it was a small group of people. I (being somewhat shy and definitely not a social butterfly) do best in small groups where I feel like I can really spend some time with each person and not get overwhelmed trying to be everywhere at once.

The next morning, Michael, Mom and I took Flynn for a walk to the dog park. It was a beautiful sunny morning and I could smell the freshness of spring in the air. We had fun taking the long way home, even stopping in at the first garage sale I have seen this year--brave souls to plan agarage sale in March.

I took Mom home before I went to work that afternoon, and we both agreed that it had been a very fun weekend and that our PartyLite party had been a success! Now it will only be a year or so before we host another one. :)

Happy Birthday, Missy Moo!

Today I caught the tail-end of Morgan Marie's 5th birthday party. I arrived just in time for the opening of the presents, but missed the cake--which was fine with me, but which Morgan told me later was her favorite part of the whole party.

I stayed up late last night, frantically trying to assemble my birthday gift for this child I love so much. Lindsey told me that she liked looking at pictures and suggested putting together an album of photos from my life with Michael. I ended up making her two albums: one with over 100 pictures of Michael and me doing everything from hiking at Eagle Creek to strolling on the Oregon beach to exploring the Biltmore in Asheville, N.C. The other album details all of Morgan's birthday parties to date, starting with the baby shower I threw for her and Lindsey a month or two before she was born.

What began as a simple idea to put pictures in chronological order inside an album became much more than that for me. As I looked through the pictures, I watched a baby grow into a little girl and then into the big girl (heading to Kindergarten in the fall) that she is today. I remember holding her in the hospital, the morning after she was born, and the quiet in the room as she slept in my arms. I loved her with a love I don't know if I have ever had for anyone else--it was a love that was instantaneous--there was no getting to know her or waiting to see what her personality would be before I gave her my heart. This child of my dearest friend in the world was instantly and completely as dear to me as my own child would have been.

As a baby, she was not particularly fond of me--I wasn't able to see her as often as I would have liked, and she didn't really know who I was until she was older. Then I became "Auntie Amy" and "My Amy" (as Lindsey calls me) to differentiate between me and her brother-in-law's wife, known as "Kevin's Amy." Morgan used to tease Lindsey by calling me "My Amy" and they would go back and forth, mock-arguing, "No, she's MY Amy!" I was happy to belong to them both. :) I still have several voice mail messages on my cell phone from two and three years ago when Morgan was learning to talk--her little voice saying "Auntie Amy" breaks my heart with joy and love for her every time I hear it.

As a toddler, she was full of energy and spirited--very spirited. This little girl had a mind of her own from the start! She was tough to pin down for a hug because she was always running, climbing, and going, going, going. The trick, Lindsey said, was to get her to stop, just for a few minutes and then she'd be out cold. And I saw it work more than once.

Morgan is a girl who (for me, at least) has always been full of surprises. She likes dinosaurs and monsters, but she also likes to wear fancy dresses and swing her long, blond hair dramatically, saying "My hair is so be-yoo-ti-ful!" It's hard to know what to get her for Christmases and birthdays--a tiara or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? A bug collector's kit or some flavored lip gloss? The answer is yes to all, and that is something I love a lot about her: she says a big YES to life, finding something good in just about everything. I think what I love most about Morgan is how much her own person she is--she is 5 years old and has an opinion and what's more, she isn't afraid to give it to you. I would like to be more like her in that respect--living my life with less worry about what others may think, and being more true to what I feel inside.

Today we snuggled on the couch watching television and she rested her head on my chest while the fingers of one hand lightly grasped my earlobe. I remember Lindsey telling me about Morgan making this gesture all the time when she was a baby as a type of self-comforting technique. The fact that she still does it has helped me integrate the young lady she is now with the memories of the toddler and baby she was that are still in my mind and heart. She is a beautiful, surprising, vivacious child, and I cannot wait to see her continue to grow and change into the wonderful woman I know she will become.

I love you, Morgan Marie. Happy 5th Birthday!! (one day early)

Love,
Auntie Amy

Our Lives With Flynnigan

When people become first-time parents, they often talk about how their lives change, about how the dynamics of their relationships change and about how they change as people. While I can't pretend to say that having Flynn staying with us has caused a change in our lives as large as the change that having a human child might create--there has been a definite shift.

Michael and I talk a lot about Flynn. We discuss his digestion issues and marvel at how much poop one dog can make. We remark on the fact that he barks when one of us comes home after he has been at home alone all day, but otherwise rarely makes a sound other than his "peeping." We share stories of which of our neighbor's bushes is his favorite to pee on, and take bets on just how many trees, poles and mailbox posts he can mark before he runs out of fluids.

We share the responsibilities of caring for him--Michael administers his eye drops; I bathe him. Michael takes him for walks when he gets home from work in the afternoon, and I take him when I am off on Fridays. We both keep a constant eye on his water dish to make sure that he a) has enough to satisfy his seemingly endless thirst and b) does not drink so much that he will have an accident on the carpet while we are at work. We both give him abundant pats and hugs and praise and although he can't hear the words, I am fairly certain he feels them in his heart.

Michael and I agree that having Flynn is preparing us for being parents--we seem to be experiencing some of the same joy, worry, happiness and exhaustion that comes with that role. So far I find that we are mostly compatible in terms of a parenting team (a relief!), but I know that we will have much to learn and discuss in terms of how we will parent our own human children so that we will be on the same page--bring on the parenting books! :)

An Evening With Dr. Dyer

Lindsey and I are both fans of Dr. Wayne Dyer--an inspirational (not motivational, as he is quick to emphasize) writer and speaker. We went to Seattle a couple of years ago and saw him in person, and when Lindsey heard that a movie was going to be showing at a theater in nearby Corvallis, she asked me if I wanted to go with her. I was able to get off of work an hour early yesterday, so I hustled myself down I-5 and made it to Albany just in time to say a quick hello to Morgan and for Lindsey to jump in the car with me. Then it was off to Corvallis. After we bought tickets and found seats, we found we were JUST in time: the movie began a few minutes later.

The movie ran for 2 and a half hours, and when it was over, Linds and I compared notes. She was expecting something different than a lecture (maybe more of a multi-media experience), but what we saw was somehow just what I had imagined: Dr Dyer talking about a new book that he is writing called Wishes Fulfilled, and lots of anecdotes from his personal and professional life illustrating the things I hear over and over from self-help authors: how necessary it is to our well-being to have an attitude of forgiveness and gratitude toward everything in one's life (whether we see it as "good" or "bad"), and the huge one about constantly checking our thoughts to make sure they are in alignment with what we want. That is the hardest lesson for me to learn--I find it is so easy to slip into old patterns of complaining and "poor me-ing," but when I really think about it, complaining has never made me feel any better. Ever. One thing that I've noticed recently (and that Dr. Dyer emphasized in his talk) is that if I take a situation that I don't like and try to put it in a positive light, I feel more peaceful. He said that attitude is always a choice and it is always ours--and boy, is he right. It's just a matter of changing my habitual reactions and thought patterns. As I write this, I am thinking, "Easier said than done," but it really is easy to think one way over another way. The question is, how willing am I to think differently and respond to people and events differently?

So for me, seeing Dr. Dyer gave me the encouragement I need right now--encouragement to keep working on my writing, and to practice envisioning the life I want right now instead of waiting for it to come to me--being happy now instead of expecting to be happy when I get everything I want. I have already been doing this to some extent, but last night I realized just how much I need it to be at the center of all of my thoughts and actions, all the time. I guess this realization is my resolution for 2010--and if I can really train myself in a new way of thinking and responding, if I am diligent about thinking with love about every person and every situation in my life, I wonder how my life will be different at the end of the year?

Welcoming Flynn

I posted a message on my Facebook profile last Friday saying that Michael and I were going to become foster parents that evening--to a very sweet dalmatian named Flynnigan. Well, we have now had Flynn with us for nearly a whole week and after an initial adjustment period, I think we are all settling into a routine. Flynn is deaf (a small percentage of dalmatians are born either deaf in one ear or completely deaf) and his vision isn't so good. Michael and I have learned to stop at curbs and steps, which seems to signal Flynn that there is to be a change in elevation. We keep him away from low-hanging branches and other obstacles that he might bump into when out on a walk. Michael has gotten into the habit of taking Flynn for a loooong walk when he gets home from work each day. They go over to the park near our house which has a great expanse of green lawn that Flynn can explore without danger of bumping into obstacles. Flynn gets tired out and spends most of the evening lying on his bed in our living room, resting. He doesn't bark much but instead "peeps" which is a word his mom has given to the combination of whining/whimpering that Flynn begins when he feels anxious. The first few days he was with us, he didn't peep much, but the last couple of days he has been doing it more. I think that part of the problem is that he misses his mom and realizes that she has been gone longer than just a day or two and also I think he peeps because he can't see or hear where we are in the house and he doesn't like to be alone.

I was worried about Chloe and Flynn meeting (the classic cat vs dog scenario), but I'm happy to report that Flynn doesn't want to eat her. :) Chloe, on the other hand, is unsure of him, although I think it's just because he is so much bigger than she is. I would like for them to become friends, but given the fact that Chloe has been around Michael for going on 9 years now and she still hisses at him and runs if he makes too sudden a movement, I don't think it's all that likely. For now, they are segregated: he has the run of the downstairs and she gets the upstairs. A baby gate separates them while Michael and I are at work. When we're home in the evening, we take the gate down and let Chloe venture downstairs, which she usually does, because she wants to see her mama. It's pretty funny (although I feel badly that Chloe is so afraid of him), to see Chloe hissing and spitting while Flynn walks nonchalantly past her, tail wagging, with a goofy grin on his face, totally oblivious of her--either that or he's just not affected by her one way or the other. Perhaps eventually Chloe will make an uneasy truce with Flynn--a truce that will allow her to be in his presence without running for cover. I tell her not to worry: it's only for a few months.

Michael and I, at least, welcome Flynn with open arms and open hearts. It's been a joy for me (who grew up with dogs in the family), to have a dog in my daily life again. And for Michael, I think it's been a pleasant surprise that not only are there sweet, well-behaved dogs in the world, but that he can live with one without his allergies going into overdrive.

So welcome, Flynn. We will enjoy you as much as we can these next few months.

Another update . . . at long last!

**I have been seriously remiss in keeping up this blog! This is a post I started in November but just got around to finishing. What makes it even funnier is that I was behind with my entries when I initially wrote it :) **

Well, everyone, it's been over 2 months since my last post. Since then, we have experienced (and are currently experiencing) some significant changes. The most important of these changes is that Michael and I both now have jobs. Most of you already know about this, but many of you probably don't know exactly what we are doing.
My job is working as a customer service rep for a company that is contracted with TriMet. TriMet, in turn, is contracted with the State of Oregon to provide medical transportation to people who carry either Medicaid insurance or a certain type of the Oregon Health Plan. It has been both challenging and deeply gratifying work--challenging in that I never know who is going to be on the other end of the line when I answer a call (and in what type of temperament they are in!), gratifying because I feel like I am truly helping people who need our service--and who often need extra patience and a willingness on my part to go the extra mile to help them. The job started out as a part-time postition, but a full-time position quickly became available, so I now work 9 hour days, Mon-Thurs, and 5 1/2 hours on Saturday with Fridays and Sundays off. I'm hoping that within a month or two I will be able to change my shift around a little in order to have Saturdays off, so that Michael and I will be able to have 2 days off in a row together--something that hasn't happened in years, since working as a massage therapist almost always means working weekends.

Michael's new job is with a company called Corbin Engineering. I am quite proud of the fact that the owners of the company came looking for him to offer him a position, instead of the other way around. :) One of the owners had worked with Michael a few years ago and knows the quality of his work. Apparently, he and his business partner knew they would soon need a designer on staff (now that businesses are beginning to build things again and they would be contracting for projects), and they thought of Michael and wondered if he was working again or was still unemployed. They talked it over and decided that they could find enough work to hire him now rather than wait until they are really busy and he is already working for someone else. So that is quite a compliment! He works Mon-Fri and is temporarily stationed at a company that designs chips for cell phones. The owners think that that particular project will last at least through the end of the year. Then, hopefully, there will be more projects in the works for Michael to be involved in.

One of the other big changes in our lives involves a huge landscaping project that Michael has more or less been forced to undertake. A few weeks ago, as he was in the process of running cables for his new pride and joy (his XBOX), he discovered that there is water under our house--and not just a little water. In fact, his guess is that there has always been standing water under our house during the rainy season. This, as homeowners, strikes fear in our hearts because where there is standing water, there is bound to be the potential for problems with dry rot and mold. So, Michael, brave soul that he is, has made considerable progress on preparing our back and side yards for installation of a "French drain." What this involves is basically digging a trench that runs along one side of the house, turns and goes under our deck (after many planks of the deck itself have been pulled up) and ends at the fence line at the other side of the house. What makes it even more backbreaking work is that our soil isn't really soil, but mostly clay. Add to that the gigantic rock that Michael uncovered directly in the path of his trench, and what is already a backbreaking job becomes truly miserable. Our friend John came over to help yesterday and the two boys slogged away, chiseling pieces of rock away with their shovels. This morning, 3 yards of gravel was delivered to our driveway. The gravel will go on top of the pipe in the trench and will act as a filter for all the rain yet to come this year. Michael worked all morning on the drain and was still working when I left to go to work at 1:30pm. All his hard work will pay off though, if it means no more standing water under our house. And once again, I am thankful that he has the knowledge and the skill to tackle these home repair projects.

We had a nice Thanksgiving on Thursday at my parents' home in Vancouver. We brought a mushroom and potato dish (something I could eat every day and not get sick of for at least a month), a fruit salad, and an Indian rice salad flavored with nutmeg and orange rind. We also brought some pear sparkling cider--yum! Mom and Dad provided ham, Mom's red Jell-o salad, and pumpkin pie. Needless to say, we all ate very well! We relaxed in front of the fire for a few hours and I scoped out the ads for the next day's shopping. I think the last time I got up early to go shopping the day after Thanksgiving was when I was in high school . . . mostly because I am SO not an early-riser. But this year, I really wanted to get some of the Amelia's organic cotton socks at Fred Meyer that I had tried earlier in the year and loved and I was willing to brave not only the early morning for them, but also the pushing and shoving that Black Friday is famous for. Michael decided that 5am was too early for his blood, so I braved it myself (but I left in time to arrive there just after the store opened, so I wouldn't have to wait outside) and was pleasantly surprised to find that people were generally very polite and conscious of the personal spaces of others. I got my socks, and a package for Michael, then decided to wander around and see what else might be on sale. I can definitely see how someone with a compulsive spending disorder could go hog wild crazy on Black Friday--there were 1/2 off signs everywhere I looked! I kept myself under control, however and even managed to bypass my biggest temptation: the 1/2 price boxes of Christmas lights. Although we have lights for our tree, we've never had them for the outside of our house and I've always admired the simple beauty of the white lights outlining other people's houses. But since we only recently got jobs again, I just couldn't bring myself to make the extra purchase. Maybe next year . . .